I generally hate coming up with New Year resolutions. It seems so small minded to be thinking of little things to change about myself, when really it is the big things that are making me unhappy.

If I'm to be stuck feeling inadequate for the rest of my life then I'd like it if this could be the year when I find a way of turning those feelings into the driving force behind some really fantastic things.

There are so many things that I want in life: to lose weight, to read more, to get things done with time to spare, to practice my trumpet and enjoy playing it again. I'm sure I'd be happier if I could just do the things that I want to do. Perhaps if I wasn't so tired so often....

So anyway, my plan for 2008 is to just try harder to be everything that I want to be. I just wish it wasn't so incredibly hard going!

Happy New Year everybody :-)

So I've been planning for the last couple of days to put up some photos of my new flat, and at last I am doing so. Now, if I can just remember how ( to do an LJ Cut.... )

So, there we have it. A whistle stop photo tour of my new place. If you want to see anything in more detail, you'll just have to come and stay won't you?

Perhaps the best way to get back into the habit of posting here regularly is to go back to doing what I used to do; ie writing something before bed, no matter what time it is and what time I have to be up.

Of course, doing that would get me out of the habit of trying to go to bed at a sensible time, which is something I've been working on for a while. I guess you can't really win either way.

The main purpose of what I expect to be a rather brief post is to tell you that I have internet access at last! A whole day earlier than expected in fact. I can't help but wonder why BT bother setting dates for these things if they don't intend to stick to them. Still I guess I can't complain, as getting the internet on the same day as I assemble my desk and computer is seriously cool.

Also today, I took delivery at long last of my sofa, book case and wardrobe. This completes the list of furniture I felt I needed to make living in my flat possible and I have to admit, it is looking pretty cool now that it's finished. Tomorrow I'll finish tidying it up and shall buy a hoover, so that I can suck up all those stupid little bits of packaging and dirt that have become a feature of my floor over the last week.

I don't have anything else planned for tomorrow, since I had been expecting to be in for the internet man, so I'll take the time to photograph this place in its finished state and shove the photos up here for you to enjoy. I took some on Friday to show the family at the weekend, but they are on the laptop, and at any rate are somewhat out of date now that I have al this new furniture.

Anyway, it isn't getting any earlier in the evening, so I should probably call it a night now and go and sleep for ages on my beautiful new bed, with all its delicious comfyness.

P.S Icon chosen because I saw a V figure in Forbidden Planet yesterday when I was in London for Elling (which was fantastic btw. For a more lengthy summary of the show and all the John Simm goodness, take a look at aralias's journal, as she basically said what I was thinking) but also because I just want to dance everytime something fantastic gets played by BBC Radio Bristol, which is all the time!

So the exam results are out in an unoffical capacity. That is to say they aren't shown on the official exam results page on the UWE web site, but they are shown on a page called "Academic Record" on the UWE portal thingy. Not really sure how much stock to put into these things, since they are apparently subject to change, but *shrug* for what they are worth, here they are:

Investment Management - 10
Organisational Analysis - 29
Strategic Management - 41
EU Law - 39
Law of Torts - 32

So, there we go. 1 passed, 4 failed. If I was any good at maths I'd have passed Investment Management be able to tell you how much worse I did this year than last, but that sort of thing is beyond me, especially when I've not had any dinner.

I'm not really surprised to be honest. IM I knew I'd failed. Having found myself unable to do the sums on the paper, I spent the last 10 minutes of the exam adding up the possible marks I could have got for the questions I answered to see if I could pass on them. I couldn't.

Law of Torts is a bit sad, because last year it was my favourite module, right up to the point that I failed it spectacularly. The coursework this year was very annoying, as it was basically the same piece as last year, but I only got half as many marks this time round. Sadly can't appeal it. EU Law is a little more encouraging though. Only one percent off a pass. I'm hoping that when it gets reviewed they'll push it up, if only to get rid of me after 2 years. I passed the coursework anyway, so at least it isn't the whole thing again over the summer.

OA is about what I expected. I got 10% on the January paper, so even passing the coursework and doing (presumably) better of the second exam meant I didn't have much hope of passing. Once again, only the exam to repeat in August.

Quite surprised I passed Strat Man, as I don't think I really knew anything for the exam, and I spent the entire coursework slagging off my bosses in Catering Services.

So yea, no real surprised. Sadly though, I still can't bring myself to care. I'm not sad I failed four modules. I'm not happy that I passed one. My only feelings about the August resits are that it will be a stupid waste of time having to attend them.

I know that makes me a terrible human being, what with throwing away my intellegence and opportunities and how I'm letting down everyone who has invested in my future over the years. I know, but I still can't make myself care. My entire future is worth less to me than the small amount of time I will have to waste over the summer revising for and attending my exams.

And so, revision will not be done. Coursework will be left til the last minute. Brains will not be flexed and effort will not be spent. Life is to short to worry about......well, anything really.

Well, it is a Saturday morning and I'm a) awake and b) not at work. This is quite rare these days, so I've decided to make the most of it by posting here for the first time in ages. So what, you may ask, have I been up to over the last.....month and a half during which I've not been updating here.

The short answer is "not a lot that is worth talking about."

The slightly longer answer is that I finished my exams back in May and have been working fairly consistently since then. The exams themselves I felt went reasonably well, although I got out of the habit of predicting results a long time ago now. 6th July we will find out whether or not I'll need to do retakes or if I can sail through to my final year of education.

Work has been a mixed bag really. Officially I've been unemployed for the last couple of months, ever since the new boss came in and immediately threw out anyone who didn't have a contract in order to cut costs. Unofficially, this decision all but crippled most of the bars in Catering Services, and so since then I've had sporadic patches of work as and when various places have got so desperate they have no choice but to ask me to come in.

This has been quite irritating really, as I had hoped to be able to work full time once the exams were over and so be earning myself sack fulls of cash. As it is, I'm probably managing around 20 hours a week at the moment, about what I was doing during term time.

Outside of work, life isn't very exciting. Hayley has disappeared without trace and doesn't seem to be showing any signs of returning on a full time basis any time soon, which is absolutely fine with me. Jenny is still around, so I do at least have someone to talk to in Bristol.

Really though, life here isn't overly interesting at the moment. The only thing keeping me in Bristol is work, and the knowledge that if I move back home I'll just end up sitting around all day being bored and wondering why everyone I know is out at work. I did go home for a few days last week for my birthday, which I spent with my family; a sharp contrast from last year when I spent the day in London with Katy and didn't see my family at all.

Nevertheless I had a most enjoyable day, which included a BBQ and time on the boat. My "main" present was a SatNav, which is unimaginably cool, but I also got a trill seeker pack (where you have to choose one of a number of extreme sports to try for the day), several DVDs (House Series 1, Talladega Nights and Snatch), some books (The Stars' Tennis Balls and Paperweight by Stephen Fry, Chart Throb by Ben Elton, The Hard Way by Lee Child and 101 Things to Do Before You're Old and Boring), lots and lots of money and a USB fish tank (complete with real plastic fish).

At work my birthday was also noted, with the presentation of a card signed by all my colleagues and a very tasty chocolate cake :D At the end of June we are all going out to celebrate my 21st/say goodbye officially for my unofficial departure, even though I may be working there for another month afterwards :S

So all in all, things are a bit mixed up at the moment. I need to be looking for a new job for next year, even though my current one seems to be almost neverending, but not neverending enough that I don't have to look for a new job. Once I have a job that is guaranteed to put more than £500 in my bank each month for a year, I will be able to find myself somewhere to live for next year, so that I can finish off this damn degree and then go out into the world properly. With every day that passes, my irritation and impatience grows. I want to be put there looking for a professional graduate job, but those are just for graduates sadly, and I won't be one of those for another 12 bloody months.

I'm beginning to wonder if this degree is actually worth it anyway...

Today I went into town for a couple of hours to enjoy the sunshine. I had to buy a present for Tim, as it is his birthday on Monday. This took much less time than I'd expected, as did choosing some DVDs to add to my ever growing film collection. I chose 2001: A Space Odyssey, Lucky Number Slevin and I, Robot, although there were plenty of others I ummed and erred about.

A trip to the bank reminded me that it was pay day (£600 better off then I thought I was) and so I decided I'd take a detour on my way to Starbucks and buy a book to read whilst sipping my coffee, since I'd neglected to bring one along. Sadly enough, I didn't have any books that I was planning to buy and for a minute I worried that I might not be able to find any I'd like to read, but by the time I strolled into Waterstones I already knew what I was after: Stephen Fry's The Hippopotamus, the most obvious next book, having read Making History, The Liar and Moab Is My Washpot by this time last year and none of his books since.

I'm not usually one for reading books before buying them, but I couldn't help having a sneaky peak at the blurb and "About the Author" pages on this one. By the time I got to the till I was grinning like a crazy person and already wanted to give Stephen a big hug.

I wasn't in StarBucks very long, owing to needing to post Tim's present before work, so I only got a few pages in, but I'm already hooked. The man is a genius and if I haven't finished the book before I return from Bristol, I've been working too hard and not reading nearly enough.

Laters

Works for me, but I really don't understand how you can be shy and outgoing at the same time. Most odd ...

When I found out, back in September, that I'd failed my resits and would have to spend an extra year at UWE to get my degree I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was annoyed that I'd be stuck in the same part of my life longer than I'd originally wanted but on the other I was glad because it meant I'd be able to spend a little more time in my new house with 2 of my 3 lovely new house mates. A lot can change over a year.

Last night Jenny announced that she wouldn't be staying in the house next year, as she'd decided to move in with some girls on her course. With Adam long since gone and Hayley due to graduate in the summer, I've decided not to stay either.

Several reasons for this really. Firstly, the landlords would be expecting me to find new tennents for the other three rooms. I don't know three people who are a) staying at uni next year, b) looking for a house and c) who I'd want to live with. Secondly, I'd have to move out over the summer and move back in anyway, as the landlords won't let me keep stuff here all through the summer as they want to use the house. Thirdly, this house has many problems and although it is on a par with most student houses, I know it isn't going to improve at all if I sign up for another year. Fourthly I'm just a little bit sick of living in student housing.

The other exciting news of yesterday was that my job is no longer as secure as it once was. In fact I'm so close to being made redundant I'm not sure whether to take my coat off when I go in anymore. I'm one of perhaps only two students who still work for Catering Services. The rest just got fired on the orders of some senior manager who has decided that catering is now so bankrupt that they need to ditch as much of the staff as they can. Students, being casual workers, were of course the first to go.

I've managed to hold on (for now) by the sheer luck of working for a boss who likes me and is prepared to fight to keep me, even if only until she retires in August. I'm very grateful to her, but she and I both know that the minute she leaves I'll find myself on the streets.

So, decision time it seems. I have a few options open to me so lets have a look at what they are:

1. I can apply for a low paid part time job somewhere else, find people who are looking for a home and find a new student place to live next year, hopefully earning enough to pay my rent in full.

2. I can look for a proper job, preferably in management and maybe still in a bar, as I have experience there, find people who are looking for a home and find a new student place to live next year, earn enough to pay my rent with loads to spare and hope that I can balance the two (or more) modules I'll be doing next year with a full salary job.

3. I can look for a proper job, preferably in management and maybe still in a bar, as I have experience there, give up on student living and rent a decent house or flat by myself, have not as much money spare and hope that I can balance the two (or more) modules I'll be doing next year with a full salary job.

Lots of problems with all three options, but all three are broadly possible. Once again, all this proves to me is that I am more than ready to leave uni and that it'd be a lot more practical to get a job and all the rest of it if I wasn't still going to have to give up a chunk of my time to getting this infernal degree. If anyone has any thoughts on which option I should go for, or anything else for that matter, I'd be delighted to hear from you.

Last night I spent a few minutes flicking through some old journal posts to see what I was doing this time last year. There's a good record actually. I'd forgotten until now that this time last year I set myself the challenge of updating my journal every single day during the month of April. A far cry from today's pathetic once a month posting you might say and you'd be right.

Back then I only had the one blog to update and more time to do it in, what with not having a job. I think the extra free time allowed me to do more stuff than I do these days. Certainly by this point last year I'd been to the cinema nearly 20 times, whereas this year I've managed just two visits so far.

Live Journal was also more popular back then, at least with people I know. Facebook still hadn't let me on and so this was the place where most of my online time was focused. Clearly I put a lot of effort into my posts back then as some are actually funny. More socialising took place last easter than this. I guess everyone had more free time, what with not having to do dissertations all the time. We braved a picnic on the green, a hat party, Dave's roast chicken and a birthday party before the holiday ended.

This year I seem to have spent most of my time working on the video edit of Iolanthe for aralias. Sadly computer troubles keep slowing the job down, but hopefully I'll get there soon.

Not much else to report really, except that my car has gone hack to the MOT place this morning after they messed up the wheel balance last month while changing the tyres. It's been quite an uncomfortable driving experience since then I can tell you!

On Sunday I return to Bristol, but that is then and now is now which is also breakfast time, which is where I'm going now.

Laters.

And so now onto my second day of holiday and already I'm faling back into the routines that seem to return between each and every term of uni. Late rising, late going to bed and not much achieved in between.

Actually, that isn't entirely true, as I spent much of yesterday helping Mum in the garden and cleaning my lovely car, which had become absolutely filthy, thanks to the dirty car parks at uni.

Today hasn't been entirely unproductive either, with a few hours passed making some long overdue modifications to the admin area of my website. Not achieved half of what I'd hoped to though, as I've been struck with a catologue of erros that need debugging and workarounds that need discovering. It's all behind the scenes, so sadly no one else will be able to appeciate it, but my job will be made a little easier in the long run, which is important.

Tonight I've been invited Katy's for ..... I don't know actually. Film watching or similar I expect. The main criteria so far as I can see is that it should be reasonably cheap, which suits me well enough.

Sadly I've agreed to pick up Tim from Fleet station at about 11:30 tonight so I'll either have to leave Katy's early or go and come back. Bit of a nusience, but my car hasn't had a good run for a day or two so it'll be worth while.

Not sure what tomorrow will consist of, but I'm willing to bet that the usual routine of sleeping in, sitting on the net all day and then going to bed might have a role to play. Lets hope something interesting happens so that I don't go totally mad, or else forget how to move.

Well, after another long term spent almost exclusively in Bristol, this afternoon I made a speedy exit and zoomed back East. Sadly, in my hurry to leave I forgot to put my sun glasses on, as I'd planned to. Since I didn't fancy doing this whilst actually driving I figured I'd wait until I hit a red light, as there are at least half a dozen junctions between my house and the motorway, and I usually have to stop at every single one.

Sods law prevailed through, and I didn't come across a single red until the very last moment, when I was caught by the lights on the roundabout for the M32 junction. Good thing too as it was the sunniest day I'd seen in ages, as is the custom.

I don't know why, but every year I seem to leave Bristol for the Easter holidays in the warmest, brightest weather I've seen all year. If I were to change my mind and stay another day, you can bet it'd cloud over and start to drizzle within the half hour.

Fortunately it was also sunny when I reached Yateley, after the sort of wind swept journey that makes you worry about your car's proximity to the crash barrier more than once, as you battle against the cross winds to keep the vehicle in the right lane, while refusing to drop below 90.

I'm glad to be home. I've had a good term on the whole, but I really need this break, and there is a lot to be said for a chance of scenery, especially if it is accompanied by a few good friends.

I bet these two weeks are going to fly by, so I really hope we make the most of it.

Laters,

This has got to be the worst coursework day ever! This morning I find that one of the two coursework pieces I have to do by tomorrow and haven't started can't actually be done, because for some reason my bastard tutors have decided to make us write about our seminars (which I haven't gone to) rather than an organisation of our choice, ie my work (which I have gone to). This has completely thrown me as I'm sure they never told us that we were going to have to write assessed pieces of work based on those stupid 8:30 crap sessions, although saying that, it seems it was clearly stated in the module handbook we were given in September (and didn't read).

Apparently we are supposed to have done lots of group work in these seminars and should have been analysing these group sessions from various academic perspectives. Sadly my group nver met to do the work in our own time, or even in the seminars, as far as I can remember, and I'd totally forgotten that we were supposed to do a group presentation or something back in November. Bugger, bugger and bugger again :(

On top of that, I've just discovered that the other piece of work I have to hand in has to be spiral bound. What the fuck?! Who the hell binds their coursework? What happened to good old stapling it at the last minute whilst standing in the hand in room? I'm sure the university is supposed to have coursework regulations to prevent this sort of crap from the lecturers. Why is it that the only people we can complain to about this sort of thing are the student advisors who are paid by the faculties they represent. What a twisted system!

I honestly don't know how much more of this I can handle. I might have to consider dropping out at this rate, coz I'm going no where. I can't make myself care about my degree enough to put the effort in, and everything I attempt comes back with a fail as a result. I'm already looking at spending half my summer back here doing resits, and that's just for my January exams and coursework. I don't actually think I can pass the year at this stage, I've probably screwed up too much already.

I can't remember why I'm here anymore. I can't remember why I wanted to come or what I hope to get out of it. I don't know what in the world can be so important that I should keep bending over and taking it up the arse from this bunch of snobby wankers that fancy themselves as tutors. Am I in the wrong university? Doing the wrong degree? Perhaps I should just accept fate and sign on as a bin man or something :(

If only I knew why I was doing this and what I was aiming for. At least then I could have a reason for struggling on with this crap.

*sigh*

Once again I find myself trying to put off doing coursework that really has to be done, and so it seemed like a good time to pop onto LiveJournal and remind people that I exist, in case they've forgotten.

Wouldn't blame anyone really as I don't tend to post very regularly these days. This will be my first and last post of this month. *sigh*

As usual, nother much to report. I rearranged my timetable slightly this term, so now I have three days off and two in lectures. As with Monday and Thursday, I've now turned Wednesday into a paid work day, working in the kitchens or on the serving counter of the main refectory, OneZone. The work isn't very interesting, but I'm making a lot of money out of it, over £800 this month alone.

My academic achievements aresuffering of course, but I can't really determine whether this is due to the working or my distaste for education, which is now almost 100%. I'll be very happy when this degree is over now. I know I'm chucking it all away, but I just want out. Enough is enough already, and how long can you keep going with something that doesn't make you happy?

Having my day filled up with stuff five days a week is a bit odd. All in al I'm actually busy for more of my week than I was in 6th form, or maybe even main school. Weekends are usually spent just trying to recover, although I am trying to get stuff done then as well.

All in all I think life is pretty reasonable right now. I have great people to work with, and cool house mates who I'm still getting on with reasonably well, although we don't exactly hang out together. I'm trying to persue hobbies, such as reading, and I think I'm doing ok at that.

It has begun to get to the time of year where I begin to miss people again, as it has been a while since I saw you guys, but hopefully we'll all be meeting up again soon. Winter is crappy. I hope it is over pretty soon. Weather crappy and cold today.

I'm not sure I really have a lot else to say to be honest. Guess I should go and get on with some work, or else find something new to distract myself with. I took this day off in order to get this essay done, and that is what I should damn well do. Only another 2,500 words to write ....

How is it that I can go two weeks without posting and not even notice? There has to be something wrong there! Actually it is probably just that I've been working so much that I've not realised how much the time has flown by. It's also for this reason that I still have nothing interesting to write about, as absolutely nothing exciting ever happens when I spend all day at work. I really need to get a life.

Luckily for me, I've now reached the end of a long stint of working far more than is really good for me, since lectures start back up on Monday. Can't say I'm looking forward to them, but I think I've missed the variety recently. To celebrate my new found freedom I'm going to the cinema tonight to see The Last King of Scotland. I'm not really sure whether I will like it, but I've been so under excited by everything in the cinema listings these last few weeks that I figure I should give it a go. Perhaps I'll report back on how I find it.

I had exams earlier in the week. Can't really say how they went, but they might well have been ok. I got a piece of coursework back on Wednesday - EU Law - which I passed with a none too shabby 48%. Better than last year when I got 33% on the same thing. At least if I can get through the exam I might just be rid of this module at last.

I'm currently reading Jack Higgins A Game for Heros. At least I was before I came to Bristol. Pretty sure I've not picked it up since I've been here. For some reason this place doesn't seem to lend itself to reading quite as well as last year's house did. No idea why. Shall try and read something while my tea is cooking. Need to kick start my brain again.

I know I tend to sleep a lot during the holidays, but no way have I slept solidly for the last three weeks! Why then does it feel like this holiday has only just begun, even as I do everything I can think of to put off packing for the long drive back to Bristol tonight?

Perhaps it is that my holiday was actually nearly a week shorter than I am used to at this time of year, thanks to those few extra days spent earning money before I came home. Even so, it seems decidedly unfair that I can't get rich and have all the holiday to which I evidently feel I'm entitled to. It isn't that I've not had time to do all the things I need to before I go back, just that I don't feel *ready* to return to my other life yet, when usually I'm totally psyched by the day of return. Not that I'd stay if I could I suppose. Yateley is a pretty dull place once everyone else has gone back, as I believe most people are doing either today or tomorrow, and we certainly finished on a high last night.

For the benefit of those of you who weren't there, we all went for a meal out last night at what used to be the Tally Ho pub and is now a BluBeckers restaurant. Although it still looks like a pub on the outside, the interior has changed greatly since I was last there, as has the food, service, lighting and price. The evening started well with a drink each, many photos and cheerful chatter. They were fairly busy that evening and sadly we waited sometime to be served our meals as a result, but I don't think anyone really minded.

Dave was moved after the first 45 minutes or so, partly so that he could better share a bottle of wine with Jim and partly to stop him talking to Katy in such a loud voice that no one else in the building could get a word in edge ways. He resisted the move at first, but was eventually pushed off the end of the row by those brave enough to invade his "personal bubble". Not that this kept him quiet of course, since Jim was now available for conversation, but it did at least allow us to bring Katy back to the rest of the table for a while.

Despite the prices, the food was actually pretty good all in all. I didn't think much of the salad, which was fairly flavourless, but I did enjoy the burger, and the chips were in no way substandard either. Dessert for me turned out to be the aptly named "Eton Mess" which was incredibly tastey, although as Katy pointed out, the ice cream wasn't great.

As the evening drew to a close, there was some talk of going to someone's house for a while, but since now one volenteered their residence for the purpose we found ourselves going home instead. This time I decided to brave the "flood" in my car, rather than cunningly avoiding it by using the other car park entrace, as I had done on the way in. Not as deep as I'd at first thought, but I may well have splashed a couple of pedestrians who had evidently decided to walk home.

Despite my best efforts to rise at nine this morning, a long night of watching endless episodes of Firefly kept me in bed until around half 12. I've still done absolutely no packing, but my tires have been pumped up with the new foot pump I got for Christmas, and my oil has also been checked and found to be ok. By the looks of it, I won't need to top up until Easter, although I may do it before that, as I'm due for an MOT at some point in March. Should probably go and do something useful now, like switching off and packing up my computer, but I doubt I will for an hour or more yet.

Safe travels to everyone returning to uni in the next few days. Have a good term guys!

Well it appears to be January 1st once again and of course that means resolutions galore. Except, I'm not sure I'm actually going to make any this year. Last year I was full of optimism and so wrote lots and lots, almost none of which I actually bothered to follow. I did keep a list of all my visits to the cinema (30 in total it seems) but I certainly didn't stop comfort eating and two attempts at getting regular exercise died before ever really establishing themselves as routine. Perhaps I'll just let a meme choose some for me:



Ok so that was a bit shit, but nevermind. I guess somewhere in there there should be making a bit more effort to get out and see people, rather than waiting to be invited. Obviously I should work harder at uni (like that's ever going to happen) but all in all that's about it. I'm more or less happy with life as it is at the moment and since I don't want to set myself any resolutions that might actually take up some of my time, as I seem to have little to spare these days I think that must be it for this post. Anyone who wishes to read more of my thoughts about New Year in general this year can do so here.

Happy New Year everyone :)

And so dear reader, Christmas is well and truly over, and it seems that I've not posted about it nearly as much this year as I did last time round. Back then I guess I was either far more excited about the whole thing, or else just a lot less busy. I'm not sure whether it is my reasonably early return to uni date (7th Jan I think) or the fact that I came home so late, but it feels like a really short holiday this year. Christmas has happened, New Year is fast approaching, and I still feel like I've hardly arrived. Hopefully this will feeling will have subsided by the time I actually leave, but I dunno. If time continues to go faster and faster as you get older then I'm going to be in real trouble by the time I reach midlife. Years will literally go by in the blink of an eye, and each decade will barely seem like a whole week.

Last year it seems I wasn't writing many interesting posts but was doing Memes left, right and centre. This year I'm pretty sure I've only done about two, which is probably a lot more sensible than all those "The Year in Review" type things. The one interesting fact I shall give you about 2006 is that it was the first year in which I wrote on my LJ every single month without fail. Admittedly that was a pretty close thing by the autumn, but I just about managed it.

I feel as though my life has changed quite a lot this year, in spite of it being almost identical on the surface. I reckon I've learnt a lot about myself and about those around me these last few months, although I won't bore you with the details. It does sadden me however to discover that in some respects at least, I've taken a definate step back from where I was at the beginning of the year. I don't read nearly as much as I used to and my cinema visits have slakened off rather. I've gained a few friends perhaps, but lost a few more, and more importantly I've lost the strength that allowed me to push on, even when being hurt on all fronts. I have learnt to live with myself more easily, but forgotten how to live with others, despite finding that although I no longer need friends, I've not stopped wanting them. I rather hope I'll be presented with opportunities in the new year to pick up where I've slacked off with those I care about.

This isn't as cheerful a piece as I'd set out to write so I shall close here and bid you all good night.

I can't decide if this is slightly good or just really bad ......

What the hell, it's nearly Christmas :)

( my xmas stocking )

Ok, that instant click to copy to LJ thing is way too cool to be believed. This must be a tiredness induced hallucination. *sigh*

I hate having coursework to do! I've had all weekend to do this piece and I've still not started the actual writing, even though it is Sunday evening. I wouldn't mind but after tonight I'm fully booked with work right up until the deadline, so I really do have to get it done. Instead though, I spent yesterday watching episode after episode of Rome and today reading lots and lots of blogs.

Last night I had work again. It was the second Christmas party we'd done in Felixstowe Court in two nights and the contrast between them couldn't have been greater if we'd laced the food with weed one night and anthrax the next. The first night we had quite a large group of law staff in. Really cheerful bunch as it happened. They arrived promptly and were soon eating like there was no tomorrow, coming back for seconds and dessert whenever the queue for the food counter was sufficently short so as to permit such behaviour.

Both before and after the meal they bought copious amounts of beer and wine at the bar, and by the time we'd finished clearing the plates from the table, they were well and truly into a very boisterous Christmas quiz. At all points in the evening the alcohol continued to flow, the Christmas music played and even those of us who were working felt like we guests at the party. Apparently they didn't wrap things up until 11, by which time even I'd gone home.

The second night we had a much smaller group, only about 30 booked in. Unlike the night before the turn out this time was poor, with only three out of the four prepared tables being filled. This group were also of the law faculty, although I think they were mainly practicing lawyers and God were they dull. No music played and what conversation there was was quiet, restrained and without humour. Not one of them bought a drink at the bar and even the wine provided on the table went almost untouched. Within just an hour of their arrival the meal was finshed and they began to leave in the dribs and drabs in which they'd arrived, many of them apparently returning to the law libaray to carry on the work they were doing before the meal interupted them, in spite of it being a Saturday evening.

All in all a thoroughly depressing evening and a total waste of time from our point of view, as half as many staff wouldn't have been kept busy by the small amount of work they gave us.

Tomorrow I'm working for around 11 hours in the bar, covering both the usual daytime shift and whatever is going on in the evening. Once I've done this I'll be zooming over to the Cathedral where I'll be beginning a four hour shift to put the stage up for the first of the Christmas events happening this month, which I guess kick off on Tuesday. Right now though, I'm going to forget all that and concentrate on what is important - dinner!